There’s a leadership trait that is almost never talked about in business circles. It’s not in job descriptions and it’s rarely covered in sales workshops or MBA programs. But you know it when you see it and you immediately know when it’s missing. What is it?
Emotional presence.
Don’t confuse it with any of these:
Emotional expression.
Emotional drama.
Emotional reaction.
No, it’s emotional presence. It’s the willingness and ability to “read the room,” sense what’s underneath the words, and meet people where they really are instead of where we would like them to be.
I know, it sounds soft. Trust me, it is anything but soft. It’s one of the hardest disciplines in leadership to master. Why? Because emotional presence requires something most leaders quietly resist. They struggle with slowing down enough to feel.
Think about it. A leader who is emotionally present hears inside the hesitation in a client’s “Let me think about it.” They pick up on the insecurity behind a colleague’s defensiveness. They notice the discomfort a team member tries to hide before the meeting starts.
But it isn’t black magic or mystical intuition. It’s simply being present. Aware.
To make matters worse, we are in the midst of a blinding transition into artificial intelligence, automation, dashboards, and data, making emotional presence even more valuable, but at the same time, harder to capture.
Everyone has access to the same tools, algorithms, and best practices, but the true differentiator is not information.
It’s interpretation.
It’s connection.
It’s finding meaning.
The leader who can bring this emotional presence (intensity) into his or her practice sees and feels more. They understand more. They can respond more wisely. They build more trust. They create more loyalty. As a result, they develop more influence, which is the true definition of leadership.
So ask yourself, “Am I available to myself? Am I present where I am and relative to what is actually happening?” If you can’t answer these questions, you are not available to yourself, and you’re definitely not available to anyone else.
Emotional presence is the leadership skill that builds trust faster, deepens relationships more strongly, and drives growth more than all the other leadership skills combined.
Maybe the question to ask yourself is simply this:
Who needs my emotional presence right now? Today? Am I willing to show up that way?
Just start there.